The process of divorce is difficult enough when it is amicable; disputes over property, finances and custody of the children adds even more emotional upheaval and pain to the situation. The high levels of hurt, fear, resentment, anger and other painful emotions leading up to, during, and after a divorce contribute to the damage that can result to all parties involved. Without professional mediation services, keeping a level head, an attitude of logic, and open communication during an experience that is as emotionally charged as a divorce is close to impossible for the majority of people, regardless of how reasonable they may be under normal circumstances.
When we go through an emotional upheaval our bodies go into a state of “fight or flight”. Even though we are not under physical threat, the brain and body behave as they would if we were at risk from a predator. This means that during times of stress the brain and body produce stress chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol; the heart rate increases; blood is pumped away from the organs and to the extremities; and systems that are not essential for fighting or running away are reduced or shut down completely.
Most importantly: Since the cognitive part of the brain is not necessary to survive fighting or fleeing from danger, it shuts down. This means our ability to solve problems, think clearly, and communicate effectively is dramatically reduced. This is the reason we are inclined to say and do things we later regret when we are in a heightened emotional state. Regardless of the circumstances of a divorce, emotions are involved; and these emotions are generally challenging.
Because of the effect of emotional stress on the cognitive part of the brain, couples involved in a divorce are unable to think and communicate as effectively as they would normally be able to do when in a calm emotional state. This is where mediation comes in. A professional mediator who is trained and experienced in divorce mediation will be able to help both spouses to communicate and negotiate more effectively without the emotional charge. This is particularly important when children are involved.
Couples that try to negotiate their divorce without a mediator are effectively handicapping themselves. The results can end up costing both sides in time and money, as well as emotional pain and upheaval. When negotiations are carried out from an emotional state, they can easily get out of control and end up causing more damage to everyone involved. Mediation services such as those provided by the Micklin Law Group are designed to ensure that the process of divorce is carried out with as little emotional collateral as possible.
While court mediation is expensive and restrictive, leaving both parties with very little say; the expert divorce mediators at the Micklin Law Group are able to provide a speedy, smooth, affordable service that is more empowering for those involved. Rather than simply being told what the settlement will be, you will be able to have your point of view heard and considered – allowing you to be part of the solution, with the support and guidance of your mediator. Professional mediation services will give you the benefits of clear thinking and excellent communication skills during a time when you are going through too much stress to be able to provide those skills yourself.